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| busted_n_disgusted |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 12:13 PM |
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Subject: i have to compete with porno‘s now ???? |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 32
Total Posts: 25
scotts
Indiana
United States
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UGH....
well over the years he‘s collected a vast amount of porn dvds‘. we‘d sometimes watch together, but not alot. it‘d didnt really bother me but now.... it does. BIG TIME!!
Maybe its because theres been a couple of times where i was asleep on the couch and instead of waking me up he popped in a porno and jacked off. ( he doesnt know i found the dvd in the machine the next morning.) i didnt say anyting. And if i leave for a while and take the kids...ditto. i see that the remote controls have been messed with and the tv is on channel 3. He even tries to change the channel now..but all i have to do is hit the reurn button and it takes me back to 3 ( dvd channel) still i say nothing. why?! dont know.
and last night i fell asleep with on the couch ..yes again.. and when i woke up in the middle of the night guess what i walked in on.. him w/ remote in hand and porn on the tv. he had a lil "deer in the headlights" look at first. then he tried to play it off and asked for me for some . I told him that" i figured he wanted to watch his little movie and do his thang since he didnt wake me up" his LAME response was..he didnt want to wake me up. girls..that has NEVER stopped him before. NEVER!!
WHAT IS GOING ON??
IS IT ME?? IT MUST BE.
what do you think??
am i over reacting?? or justified?
suggestions?
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| DorothyParker |
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Posted: 5/4/2008 8:08 AM |
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Subject: i have to compete with porno‘s now ???? |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 37
Total Posts: 31
Baltimore
Maryland
United States
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He continues to do it because he can get away with it. You have to gather your strength and force him into a real choice: either he gives up the porn and goes to individual and marital counseling with you, OR he can sign the divorce papers and meet with your lawyer to discuss the amount of child support and alimony he will be paying for the next good many years. Absolutely no in between.
I expect even that might not sway him - so take it a step further. See a lawyer, have the papers drawn up and get your lawyer to figure out what the maximum amount of child support and alimony that you will get per month. Have him figure the total of that for however many years you and your children are entitled to it. Get him to write that total number down. Underneath that, write down all the things he will lose in the divorce.
Then, when you get home tell him that you have something for him and hand him the list. He will say... ‘what‘s this?‘ and tell him that it is the total of what continuing to put porn ahead of your marriage will cost him, and if he wants to avoid that then he will agree to the much lesser cost of individual and marital counseling to work out the problems that got you two here in the first place.
I think with a bottom line number in the astonishing thousands, if not hundreds of thousands in money and property lost he will be able to better prioritize his porn.
Here‘s the key though. If you bluff, even a little - nothing will change. You have to be serious about it. Ready to walk, for real.
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| lorrie |
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Posted: 5/4/2008 12:11 PM |
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Subject: i have to compete with porno‘s now ???? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 7
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Total Posts: 7486
georgetown
Cayman Islands
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 this sucks. i am sorry about it. i understand addiction and that‘s what he has, an addiction.
he would rather look at women then be with a real one.
soon its the internet, adult friend finders, webcams, chat rooms and then meeting in person.
google porn addiction and read up on what to expect and what to do.
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| Uncle Don |
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Posted: 5/5/2008 6:20 PM |
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Subject: i have to compete with porno‘s now ???? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Male Member
Age: 53
Total Posts: 375
Basking Ridge
New Jersey
United States
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I think he may be going thru a stage in life. Most men I know who admit to it, masturbate. It is not something guys talk about. I know that most guys get a kick out of watching porn. Can‘t explain it, but it is true. I truly do not believe porn leads to soliciting a hooker or into infidelity any more than smoking pot leads to heroin. If it bothers you that he does this have you talked to him about it? Communication works best with every situation. Does he know that you would like to be part of the sexual experience? I am amazed to hear you say that, actually cuz I can just hear my wife, chuckle and say go ahead, it gets me off the hook for the night! LOL.
I would not read into it too deeply and definitely talk to him about it. I remember a friend of mine several years ago told me he went fishing with his dad and his uncle and he asked the uncle who was 70 years old at that time, "At what age do men become bored with masturbation and stop?" The uncle replied, "I don‘t know!" LOL!
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