WomanSavers.com Forum / CATCH A CHEATER / husband cheated

I am married for 5 yrs and just last year I found out my husband cheated on me. I was just crushed. I had a talked with my husband, he apologized and we decided to have our marriage a second chance. Six months past & now I am pregnant with our first child  and we‘re both happy. But lately I found out from our phone bill statement that my husband has been calling the other girl like once in a week or maybe once in 2 weeks. I asked my husband about it but he just said it‘s just plain conversations between friends. I ask a favor from him if he can stop calling the other woman since the pain he caused is still there from being unfaithful. Though everyday I pray I must be strong and hoping the pain will goes away soon. It wouldn‘t easier for my part if that woman is still in the picture. My husband kept saying that they‘re just simply friends now. Am I over reacting? Should I make a big deal out it? Or just ignore it? 

No, you aren‘t over-reacting.  Actually, you are being too calm, and too trusting.  He is still calling her???  What makes you so sure he has ended it?  I know you want to enjoy your life together, but you need to get the full picture and not be afraid of what you will find out.  Call her.  Tell her you are pregnant and you would appreciate it if she would let you give your marriage a chance.  Your husband should be kissing your ass, not giving you a lame excuse.  You should be the most important person in the world to him, and if you don‘t want them talking (DUH), that should be the end of it.  I am shocked that he has the nerve to tell you he is going to continue this behavior...it makes me think you have been too nice to him.

I‘m sorry if I sound harsh, but I think you need some tough love! Please stand up for yourself, because the jerk you are married to is walking all over you!

Take care honey, and keep us posted. 

He should have no contact with her what so ever!!!

He is disrespecting you with every number dialed and ever word spoke.   

Sorry  the calls would stop  or she could have him,  never again will I put up with a man like that!!

Good luck to you,  I hope he loves you enough to stop!

Outrageous.

Nail his ball sac to a tree stump and kick him in the face.

Then call your family.

He really should have NO contact with her for any reason.  Everything I have read on how to survive infidelity starts with the communication between the two "cheaters" ending.  Even years from now, when the pain subsides, there should STILL be no communication. 

i always give the same reply to this situation.

tell him to invite her over for dinner. you are married now and any friend of his is gonna be a friend of yours. tell him you want to meet her in your lovely home where you are getting ready for your new baby.

if she or he rejects this offer of dencency from you, the injured party then tell him sadly, he must curtail his "chats" with her due to the fact that his first loyalty lies with you.

all ya gotta do after that is wait and see.

one more strike and he is out.

free to pursue the path of many many other cheatin liars....

court, loss of custody, loss of income due to monthly child suport payments.

i am sorry to ask this, did you have the standard hiv/aids tests early in your pregnancy?

there is absolutely no way they can still be friends - the urge would be there, it can work out (your marriage) I‘m almost a year now.  But he has to have NOTHING to do with her.

good luck w/the baby

I feel so sorry for you!  I had something similar happen, I‘ve been married almost 14 years and 2 years ago I started seeing phone calls on the cell bill to a woman my husand worked with.  He INSISTED and I mean INSISTED they were "just friends" this nearly destroyed our marriage we fought for 2 years over "just calls between friends", I gave him a choice me or her, he told me it stopped, I didn‘t see the calls betweeen them anymore but something in me wouldn‘t stop telling me he was lieing all along.  Low and behold in January it came out that it wasn‘t just "calls between friends", they‘d been having a full fledged affair since July of 2005!!  He just stopped calling her from his cell phone and I guess called her from the work phone or whatever.  It‘s nearly destroyed me, he says he has ended it with her now and I‘ll admit his attitude has changed tremendously and he has insisted that we stay together and give our marriage another try that he loves me, he just screwed up and fell into an addiction and that he never loved her just like the thrill of the possibility of getting caught, my love for him and our two kids and a history (we‘ve been together since we were 15, we‘re 33 now) has kept me in this relationship.  But, had I been wiser back then in 2005 when he was talking to her so much, I would have really investigated and not took his word there was nothing, as far as I am concerned, anything someone does in a relationship that makes the other person uncomfortable shouldn‘t be happening!  Bottom line, I wish I would‘ve been smarter, DO NOT allow him to do this, and I would be checking on everything he does now, he has NO business talking to her, that is the rudest thing I ever heard, he has allot of nerve!!  It actully makes me mad!  As someone else posted, he should be kissing your butt and she should be GONE 100% no phone calls, no visits no nothing, trust me put your foot down NOW before it gets too far you do not want to end up where I am now!!  I wouldn‘t wish the pain I‘ve felt due to this affair on anyone except maybe the whore who he cheated with!!!  You deserve better, you deserve a man who will not put anyone including himself before you!!

Best of Luck!