WomanSavers.com Forum / CATCH A CHEATER / Discovered he‘s married - Do I tell his wife?

 i am sorry to hear you all have been thru hell.  i want you to know though sometimes the wife will balme the other woman and the other woman may not know in the begininng with me i did not know he was a young guy came to inquire about work i do..... wasnt wearing a ring stopped by many times on his lunch break... took me months to agree to go out with him i knew he drove a truck he had led me to believe he was  living in his truck and visited his parents in a nearby town when he was in....... the parent ended up being the pregnant wife. but yes it is possible for someone to hide a marraige for  6 mos or maybe even longer. i even looked for tan lines etc on the ring finger. and anything else that might give it away then one day he told me i was  schocked and in the end this woman called me threatened to sue me for alienating her from her husband threatened my family etc she is still with him to this day and doesnt know the truth about any of the lies he told anyway .....so after  getting out of that relationship i made friends with a guy online who repeatedly told me he wasnt married said he was shy had little expierence with women we talked of everything he helped me by teaching me math ......he prayed for me when i was sick etc etc he told me he was out of the country working on a project and wanted to meet when he got back etc etc anyway we have talked for years i was devastated when he said ok i cant lie anymore im married i want to leave her when i get back ......i would now but she would get the child and blah blah blah i told him i wasnt a homewrecker he told me i couldnt wreck that which was already destroyed.....  when i started freaking out on all the lies he made me feel physcotic when i asked for the truth he said i have done nothing but help you and be a friend lsitening when your son died etc i dont even think i know his real name or if the pic i have of him is real ....i think the pic might be him and he told me where he worked ...but i am tired of these guys wrecking peoples lives for selfish reasons and then walking away unscathed and  he is wrecking her life.... not just mine  this guy had me so depressed because i cant seem to determine when someone is being honest that i was ready to end my own life any advice on how to out a guy your not even sure exists ? what if the pic is of someone else

You damn skippy you tell his wife.  She deserves to know she is married to a real cheating dicksmoke.  That and he is on a dating site!!!

Not only do you rat him out to his wife, you put a picture of him up on this site under the Rate-A-Guy.  He needs to be exposed.

Now it has been suggested that since he knows where you live that you might need to be worried about what he would do if you did rat him out.  Well, that definitely is a concern, and one only you would have to decide if he is a threat that way.  So if you decide to not tell on that basis, then I don‘t blame you.  the only sad outcome is another victim of a cheater will go on living out what short life they have left on this planet with the scumbag.

Thank you to all that replied to my question. I thought you‘d all like to know that I did tell his wife about three weeks ago. I called her at work to say I wanted to talk to her about her husband. I was kind and empathetic in my tone. She was cold to me (but I was prepared for that) I asked to meet with for a coffee after she was finished work but she wasn‘t interested. Instead she askes me to tell her what I had to say right then and there. So I gave her a quick overview and let her know that in trying to find out the truth about this man, that I discovered he was married to her, and also was having other relationships - one of which was with one of his employees at the restaurant they both own. She didn‘t ask about the identity of this woman, and did not react when i raised the issue about her husband having unprotected sex. (I went to the doctors for testing myself) I had maybe 2 or 3 minutes only to tell her the whole story, and I offered to be avaialbe to her if she had any other questions. But she was not interested in talking with me again. She was actally rude and a bit insulting to me. Again I can understand why. Later, I dropped a discreet package by her work with all the paper evidence of my relationship with him (as well as the name and details of the affair with the employee). After that, I heard nothing. That was three weeks ago.

Recently someone gave me the heads up that they are still together, and that the employee is still working at their business. So it appears she was not interested in her husband‘s extramarital dalliances.

I thought I did the right thing, but I was made to feel like I was the bad person (when I was also a victim by this man too.) But I guess each woman takes there own path. And as an eariler poster wrote...maybe it‘s a cultural thing. I think that is a good point.

Again, thank you everyone for your support - it really helped!

1st, you met a man on a dating site.  That is a mistake.

2nd, yes, you tell his wife.  She deserves to know what a lying scumbag she is married to so she can make a decision on how to proceed with her life.

I would tell him to tell her or you will - I stayed with my husband but did contact the OW, she had nothing to lose at that point. 

When I confronted my husband with what she said - he agreed, but he wouldn‘t tell me the truth until I told hit to him, I found her on the computer

Yes it is bad, 

ps.  that makes you a SLUT!!!!!!!!!!

Keep your legs closed and dont answer there calls.

Your a big girl and you know how to say no. 

I may be wrong, but I see the gf/bf phase of a relationship as the time when 2 people who feel they want to be together get to know each other on a deeper level, find out if the other is trustworthy.  If  a guy cheats on his gf, then he is not trustworthy and won‘t be anymore trustworthy once they are married.

You sound like a sex addict though, as you seem to be looking at these dalliances as which one gives it to you better, and no one can give it to you better than the ones who already have someone else.  Hmm...have you thought about how they must feel about you, really? They are willing to bang you, but when it comes to being a girlfriend, they don‘t want that from you.  Maybe because you are showing them how easy you are.  They are pursuing you because you spread your legs, they aren‘t pursuing you for anything else.  Doesn‘t that make you feel a bit used and dirty?

Are you seriously in your 50s?  I would think a woman that age would‘ve learned by now.

If you have any morals at all, you would tell his wife! You don‘t want to be the one that cops **** from an angry wife...if you have an affair with this man and his wife finds out, not only will her husband be a target for abuse but so will you!

Don‘t put yourself in that situation! Don‘t be a homewrecker! Don‘t be a slut! I couldn‘t think of anything worse than being labeled a name such as these!

You would only be hurting yourself in the long run because most married men stay with their wives. Don‘t be 2nd best! Find your own man who will put you 1st and treat you like a queen!