Their cheatin' hearts: 2009 brings celebrity scandal
By WALT BELCHER | The Tampa Tribune
December 27, 2009
TAMPA - Every year we are witness to celebrity scandals, but 2009 has been a banner year for cheaters.
It seems like every time we turned on the TV, there was a politician, actor, sports figure or comedian caught with his pants down, figuratively speaking.
Golf hero Tiger Woods apparently had a revolving door of floosies; late-night talker David Letterman admitted hitting on his staff; reality TV star Jon Gosselin dumped on wife Kate; and South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford found a "soul mate" in Argentina, not on the Appalachian Trail.
These philanderers top a list of high-profile adulterers who turned 2009 into The Year of the Cheater.
And even though disgraced former presidential candidate John Edwards was caught cheating in 2008, his transgressions were back in the spotlight this year with the publication of a tell-all book by his wronged wife, Elizabeth, and an ongoing ethics probe.
The gaggle of celebrities behaving badly this year also includes former country music sweetheart LeAnn Rimes and hunky actor Eddie Cibrian, who have left their spouses and are dating after getting cozy while filming a Lifetime movie.
Do men cheat more than women? Is adultery hitting an all-time high? Are celebrities bed-hopping more than ever?
"Women cheat, too; and there's always been some celebrity infidelity, but there is more media attention than ever before on celebrities," said infidelity expert Stephany Alexander, founder of a Web site devoted to helping women avoid cheating cads (www.WomanSavers .com).
"We've had one of those years where a lot of men with power, privilege and opportunity got caught," Alexander said in a telephone interview.
Celebrity consultant and radio talk show host Cooper Lawrence added that there have always been celebrity cheaters, but thanks to modern technology more are being exposed.
"With the Internet and cell phones, there's more ways now to leave an electronic trail that someone is all too willing to expose," she said. "I think we're going to see more of it because it's not just the tabloids that cover it. The major networks feed on it, too."
Alexander said that studies on infidelity indicate that 45 percent to 55 percent of married women and 50 percent to 60 percent of married men will engage in extramarital sex at some time during their relationship.
And those "50 percent" statistics have held steady for several decades, said marriage counselor and Rabbi M. Gary Neuman of Miami, author of the recently published book "The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It."
Neuman, a frequent guest on Oprah Winfrey's show, researched 100 men who cheated and 100 who didn't. He said that infidelity cuts across all ages, incomes, backgrounds and social status.
"It's not just the rich and famous who are unfaithful, but they get the most attention," he said. "And it's not just about men wanting sex with other women. That's the biggest myth. Having an emotional attraction is the overwhelming reason why men cheat," he said. "That was what appears to have happened with the South Carolina governor."
Neuman said that when we see someone such as Woods, who on the surface seems to have it all - a beautiful wife, two children, wealth and tremendous success - then we wonder why he would risk losing it.
"I found that 90 percent of the men say their affairs aren't about sex," he said.
"They are seeking attention from women who make them feel valued and appreciated, and something is missing in their marriages," he said.
Neuman said celebrities typically are separated from their wives and families for lengthy periods.
"The average married couple only spends 12 to 18 minutes a day in direct communication, and nothing can be accomplished in that amount of time," he said.
Many of the cheating celebrities hang out with party-going friends who are enablers, he said. Fame and success "feeds their infidelity," making them "feel powerful and invincible so they think they can get away with anything."
Relationship expert Lawrence, author of "Cult of Celebrity," said, "Some celebrities also tend to have big egos and are narcissistic. This could be true of Tiger Woods as well as any politician or actor who cheats. They put themselves first and feel like moral guidelines do not apply to them.
"That may apply to Jon Gosselin, but it's also apparent that opening up your private life on a reality show can destroy a marriage," Lawrence added. "It happened to Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, to Hulk Hogan, and to Jon and Kate."
Neuman said that sometimes men who weren't the most successful with romance when they were younger become rich and powerful, enabling them to attract more women.
This can be a heady experience that leads to cheating, he said.
"And they often have groupies who are following them and want to sleep with them," said Alexander, who advises women on how to detect if a man is cheating.
"We live in the buyer beware age," she said. "Until a person proves he or she can be trusted, it is best to be cautious.
"There are some theories now that men are genetically predisposed to be unfaithful because the caveman may have needed to find multiple partners for the survival of species," Alexander said.
"But we don't live in the Stone Age anymore, and you would think that men would have evolved by now," she said.
CHEATERS HALL OF FAME IN 2009:
- Golf legend Tiger Woods' squeaky clean image was tarnished after being linked to 11 mistresses, including two porn stars. On his Web site, he says he is taking a break to focus "on being a better husband, father, and person."
- A $2 million extortion plot forced funnyman David Letterman to admit to sexual relationships with female staff members.
- South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford confessed to having a yearlong love affair with a woman in Argentina. His wife recently filed for divorce.
- The stars of reality show "Jon & Kate Plus 8" split after allegations that Jon Gosselin was cheating on wife Kate. Their TV show ended, as did a 10-year marriage that produced eight children.
- Country singer LeAnn Rimes and actor Eddie Cibrian left spouses behind and are dating after working together on the Lifetime movie "Northern Lights."
- Embattled Republican Sen. John Ensign of Nevada is facing an ethics probe after admitting an eight-month affair with a member of his staff.
- Former California state Republican Assemblyman Michael D. Duvall resigned after he was caught bragging to a colleague near an open microphone with lurid stories of his sexual escapades with a state lobbyist.
- Former presidential candidate John Edwards was caught cheating on wife Elizabeth in 2008 but was still named "the most disappointing person in 2009" in an NBC/Wall Street Journal poll for having an affair while his wife was being treated for cancer. The Edwards affair was in the news in 2009 because of his wife's heart-breaking account in her book "Resilience," published in May.
Source: http://www2.tbo.com/content/2009/dec/27/291404/co-their-cheatin-hearts/life/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+tbo%2Flife+%28TBO+%3E+Life%29
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